Confession

Hi, my name is Laura, and I’m an infomercialholic.

Yesterday I mentioned that my left knee was feeling a little cranky. It ended up getting a little worse throughout the day. Every time I get up to walk around, I feel a sudden sharp pain from deep within my knee, and it feels like it wants to collapse. That sounded worse than it actually is, but I am trying to articulate less of a constant pain and more of an acute feeling when I put pressure on it in just the wrong way. I iced it yesterday, and it was fine during my swim.

Side note: did you know that saline pools do not taste salty at all? That really surprised me when I got in the pool at Gold’s last night. I think I was expecting more of an oceany quality. The water really had no taste, which was nice. Steve and I both need to get some clear goggles because it is quite dark in the pool room. Almost like mood lighting, how romantic for our swimming date!

I iced my knee again last night after swimming.

My cat is actually a demon in case you were wondering. Only the camera can capture her true nature.

Anyway, the knee didn’t seem any different this morning. No better, no worse. I decided to test it on a 30 minute spin on the bike trainer, thinking it would probably help to get the blood flowing. I kept the tension very low, and it felt absolutely fine. I passed the half hour on the trainer watching my favorite type of early morning programming…the infomercial!

You guys, I am obsessed with them. Today’s paid programming was a 30 minute advertisement for the Magic Bullet. I know what a Magic Bullet is, I know what it does, and I have probably seen this exact infomercial before. Yet I can’t peel my eyes away. Did you see that? It made alfredo sauce in 10 seconds! OMG, milkshakes! And it’s got a juicer attachment! I NEED one! But wait, call in the next 18 minutes and they will double my order for free. Two Bullet’s for the price of one! Where’s my phone?!? Etc.

Of course I never actually order anything. Except there was that one time when I was so enamoured over the Ultimate Chopper that Steve ordered it for me for my birthday.

The day arrived was full of excitement as we poured granulated sugar into the thing to see if it would really make powdered sugar. It did! It also made chocolate mousse and many other things in that first few glorious days, but alas, it now sits untouched and unloved in the cabinet.

No matter the infomercial, I cannot turn away. There’s the Ronco Rotissere (a classic, Just Set it…and Forget it!), The Slap Chop (You guys are gonna LOVE my nuts!), The Snuggie (I own one), Oxy Clean (oh Billy Mays, you will be forever missed), the Gazelle, who’s picture says it all:

 

If you want to get really old school let’s not forget Space Bags, the Thigh Master or The Clapper. Clap on Clap off baby!

Somehow each infomercial penetrates deep into my brain and convinces me that I must have the product. Sometimes Steve gets stuck watching them with me, usually on a weekend morning in bed. It was when he saw my true infomercial freak flag fly and didn’t run for the hills that I knew he loved me.

When I got to work this morning I consulted with my PT, aka my boss. She took a look and could tell that my knee is a bit swollen with fluid. She checked all of the tendons and ligaments which are all fine. This is most likely just an inflamation response to the pounding of all the running I did over the weekend. She put some kinisio tape on it to help with the swelling. FYI kinisio tape is pretty awesome and can be used for a variety of things. It can be used to change muscle tone, move lymphatic fluids (me!), correct movement patterns, and improve posture. I used kinisio tape in the fall when I had a hamstring strain to lift the muscle and take pressure off of my knee. It worked like magic. Here is today’s tape job:

Those wrinkles in the tape are helping to create a low pressure zone in the knee which will help flush out the lymphatic fluid. I have been cleared to try an easy run tonight if it feels ok, otherwise I will be back on the bike or on the elliptical. Either way my planned hill workout will have to be postponed until tomorrow. Grrr. The last thing I need right now is an injury, so I will proceed with caution.

Have you ever bought anything from an infomercial? Do you like to watch them?

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3 Comments

Filed under Miscellany, The run, The swim

3 responses to “Confession

  1. Knee issues are a pain! I was out with an ITB injury for like a month. Kinesio tape saved me 😉

  2. Don’t worry–I am the EXACT same way with infomercials. I LOVE them.. even the ones I have seen over and over.

  3. Kim

    You are so lucky to have a boss that knows so much about injury.

    My husband bought P90X from an infomercial (I swear this one is on 24/7 somewhere!), last year. He has transformed himself and gotten me hooked too. Best infomercial purchase ever!

    I hope you feel better soon.